12/03/2010

Point To Ponder

I often hear people say thing like...

"Kahwin tu seumur hidup sekali, insya Allah. Apa salahnya berbelanja lebih sikit. Takkanlah kahwin sendiri pun nak berkira. Bila lagi nak pakai inai, lace, crown, duduk atas pelamin."


Ok true. Memang insya Allah kita kahwin seumur hidup sekali. Tapi perlukah berhabis-habisan kerana (kenduri) kahwin yang seumur hidup sekali tu? Bukanlah it's the marriage that is much more important than the wedding itself?

So if I choose not to spend much on the wedding, my wedding, does it means that my marriage will be blessed less than those who spend more?

This is not about what I can and couldn't afford. This is more of a matter of principe. Sometimes I think people tend to focus more on the wedding but not the life after the wedding. Which is sad.

This post is not to condemn anyone. No that's not my intention. It's just that after I got caught up in the midst of preparation and all, I came to one point and realized that where all of these leading to? If I got my oh-so-called dream wedding and then what? Feel satisfied is one thing but what's the significant behind all these?

Ok, I sound like a bride having her mid-life wedding crisis. Or whatever.

23 comments:

Anonymous said...

kak mus!!

Xora said...

Saya sokong Moose! caya la Moose, ni baru warm up. nanti lagi macam2 peel org kita tgk :P rasanya kamu dah dapat agak kan, daripada kes pertunangan kamu dulu. Saya pun hadapi masalah yg sama gak. Ni kalau sedara mara tau, saya takmo wang hantaran, mahu terbalik dunia diorang buat! :P

Ami Schaheera said...

segan nak ajak orang KL datang kenduri ku kat kampung, hahahaha .. takpelah yg penting kita happy moose. kenduri i pun budget bride juga... takpe moose, kita buat takat mana yg kita mampu aja ya? :)

NahWaL said...

sentap aku. ha ha ha. tapi moose, serious sometimes i think like, whats the point of all this, but then i think, whats wrong with spending more. seriously its making me crazy. i ended up driving home analyzing 2 photographers and who can give me more value with less money.

and the debacle with parents . and with fiance. its ok if were on the same page, but sometimes he wants this and i want that and im just so fed up with all of this. HA HA HA.

ure entree is making me rethink my options though. thanks moose.

sumpit said...

ya, betol!
tp sometimes, we still nedd to strike a balance between wht we want and wht others around us want.

Like for example, just today, told my mom, i wanted container for favors yg buat from kertas- murah, and she was like, sapa nak lipat2 smpai beratus2? fine, beli je la plastic container.

Then, when i told them to design hantaran cincai2 je (read: murah) 'cos seriously, i dont even care about the hantaran decos. Bising lak, nanti org kata...

Camne ni?

Takpe la, yg penting, kawin.
Jemput je suma kawan, kalu x sanggup dtg sbb kat kg or x grand, tu bukan kawan sejati -or at least tht's how i look at it, unless they hv good valid reasons la, kan wajib tu g kenduri kawin if invited :D

Aida Narina said...

I often hear the same quote juga moose. I sendiri suka yang cantik, but I'm for sure not willing to spend a whole lot for my wedding, sebab nya i lagi rela spend untuk hidup lepas kahwin. So, when i told mum about not having a big grand wedding, dia kata, "okay tak apa, tak kisah apa yang kakak nak" - sebab dia sendiri tahu kemampuan i dan cepat2 cut down on the guests list (bayang kan dia dah ada list sendiri wpon i akan kahwin lambattt lagi). At least my family member sendiri faham the whole situation.

I have always thought about having a small wedding, but with all the nice things and decorations. Kene bersedia untuk sacrifice apa yang mahal la kot..

aurinh said...

dear... good for you. Seriously lepas kahwin lagi banyak belanja. If you spend a lot of money on the wedding on you end up in debt after wedding - it'll stress up your life esp if you end up pregnant and buying a house etc.

shueyluweyduwey said...

i sooo have to agree with you. I think the trick of having a dream wedding differs from one another. some like it extravagant. some like it simple. as for me, i used to think lavish weddings are over rated. im in the midst of preparing for e-day and w-day and typically girls tend to get swoon over pretty things right? everytime those thoughts creep to me mind, i have to take a step back and remind myself that life after marriage is more important. so, it's not mid-life marriage preparation crisis after all yeah? some of us share the same thoughts as u are. enjoy planning it and make it YOUR dream wedding, not others. =)

Moose said...

anonymous:
ok siapakah anda? sila bagitau cepat!!!

*malu sorok muka kantoi junior baca*

xora:
thank you! haha. rasa macam fed-up bila orang terkejut kita nak buat simple2..

ami:
takpe ami, kenduri kampung pun cantik jugak. tak semestinye kenduri dekat bandar je cantik. kenduri kampung lagi homey.

Moose said...

nahwal:
wow, sampai gitu impact entry aku. eceh impact la sangat. haha. ntahla masa tulis entry ni rasa macam fed-up and give up dengan preparation semua. sebab fikir2 balik macam tak berbaloi beria-ria, semangat2 prepare semua just for few hours of kenduri. oh well, not that wedding aku grand ke ape, just the preparation tu..

Moose said...

sumpit:
betul!! kena strike balance. thank god my mom and dad mostly follow whatever idea i had in mine. cuma bab guests list tu ade sikit conflict la between me and my dad.
i pun rasa kalau some the friends yang tanak datang sebab your kenduri is in kampung, well they dont deserve to be called friend in the 1st place. and i do hope i takde kawan yang macam tu..

Moose said...

aida:
i pun suka benda yang cantik2 jugak but like you i pun so not willing to spend banyak2 on wedding. i rasa membazir sangat sebab life after wedding is more important and act. i dont see the point pun nak berabis-abisan untuk kenduri ni.

so comel your mom dah ade guests list. haha. sometimes i rasa comel when our parents yang lagi excited dari kita!

Moose said...

aurinh:
that's what i thought as well!

shuey:
phewww. so glad that you had the same idea as mine! at least i'm not losing my mind! haha.

NahWaL said...

penat aku komen tetibe error. HA HA HA.

aku dah fenat dah survey. kalao leh tanak splurge. tapi taknak too cikai. bosan fedup bagai. mak aku soh amik pakcik aku je, but kesian lak kang semua majlis dia snap, dia takda. dahla semua seragam kan, cam kang dia amik gambar, gambar dia takda tak bes aku nak elak dari cam tue.

bila aku cakap kat mak aku harge photographer skang beribu2 dia pengsan dengar. dah gitu rege dia camano.
penat woo

Elly Anaille said...

btol la moose. i pun slalu prepare wedding mcm2 bagai last2 terpikir gak, what's the point. iye2 jek amek masa setahun utk plan last2 tiba harinya, 4 jam je dahs etel. habis tenaga dan wang aku je buat extravagant kan? wakaka!

so now, i mls nk fikir sgt psl wedd prep ni. ape yg ade, adela. ape yg xde, xpela. dulu mmg i sgt fussy utk wedd prep ni. skrg, i dh boleh tolak ansur. ape yg x mampu, xpela. klu x dulu, melenting wooo!

guess i'm no more bridexilla. instead of hunting for wedd stuffs now kami dah hunting for stuffs after marriage. mesin basuh, fridge, tv etc. penting tu! haha!

That's so Jaja said...

btol btol. tak payah nk spend banyak2 sangat utk wedding. yang penting survey betol2 cari yang most value for money. tengok cam aku....baju wedding dpt hantaran time tunang aritu...anta tailor full beading sekali veil + tudung gedebak gedebuk rm400 je aku abes. for the whole baju sanding. And on that day orang ingat baju aku sampai rm7 8 ribu. kembang beb. padehal cheapskate giler. hahaha....

Sha Pattinson said...

dlu masa i nak kahwin mcm2 nak buat ..nak itu ini bila ada someone bgtau after kahwin lg byk nak belanja so i tersedar ..yang penting nikahnyer ..dan majlis berjalan dengan lancar ..eh terlebih suda ...hi im sha ...i've pun ur link into mind just fyi ..okay relax bride to be ..

chenta said...

:) nice blog!!

saya pun orang kampung jugak,jitra lagi.hehe tula macam amy,rasa segan jugak nak jemput majlis yang memang simple sebab skang ni baru plan nak tunang pun macam2 dah kawan tanya pasal preps.pakai fresh flower?hantaran bapa?pelamin camna?favours apa?uwaaaaaaaaaaa....

Moose said...

nahwal:
mak aku pun tak abis2 cakap amik pakcik aku je..masalahnye, aku dah tau what kind of photographer aku nak kan. and pakcik aku tu, profile die pun aku tak penah tgk..

elly:
yup betul! life after marriage is more important. i tanak kawin grand lepas kawin merempat. at least nak jugak ada rumah hidup selesa.

jaja
wah ko anta tailor mana tu? jaja, blog address pls..haha tak malu.

Moose said...

sha:
yup true. sume orang cakap life after wedding is more important and that's the one thing that keep me grounded.

chenta:
wah orang jitra! jitra is so closed to my heart sebab i sekolah situ dulu! jangan rasa segan, kalau diorang tanak datang, they dont deserve be called your friend

reena said...

Omg hari ni baru nak komen. Huhu..Betul Moose. I selalu terfikir, prepare bagai nak rak setengah mati, majlisnya sekejap je. Huhu. Tengok artis kita kahwin sudey. Siap ada yg live tv bagai, tp marriage tak kekal la, apa la..

chenta said...

whooo yayy!! sekolah apakah di jitra?

me budak SMJ hehe..=)

Moose said...

reena:
kaannnn? majlis gempak gile tapi tak sempat nak cover kos kenduri dah bercerai-berai gamaknye.

chenta:
i sekolah jenan! hihi.