I would like to open a discussion here.

Here is the situation:

  1. You hold a managerial position. Your career future is promising & bright as a star.
  2. Your other half relocates to the other side of the world for a couple of years.
  3. You are planning to conceive.
My question is, what would you do?

  1. Leave everything behind to be with your spouse. But at the back of your mind, you will have no income & you have monthly commitment of your own and the thought of having to start over your career once you returned.
  2. You stay. And visit your spouse from time to time. Or vice versa.


Disclaimer: Might be related to real life situation or it might be completely fictional.


reena said...

Pergh tough situation.

*Jap fikir*

Ok tak membantu discussion.

rawsktar said...

let my husband go. i'll visit him and vice versa.

sedang menghadapi situasi yg lebih kurang sama cuma tak seteruk itu. i think i'll get used to it. so yeah...let the husband go, u keep ur job.

bila dkt2 umur 40, dua2 benti, bukak bisnes. :D

Moose said...


i forgot to add in 1 key point. what if at the same time you're planning to conceiver & your biological clock is ticking? baby at 40?

Qistin Fadzin said...

*mcm soalan essay english SPM. hehe ;)

ONLY IF both jobs deserve the sacrifices, if u know what i mean... excellent career/personal development, good pay, promising future, etc.

i'll let him go... (kind of, ALREADY!). in early married life, we have less commitment to speak of. i wanted to stay to keep & grow my own career platform. he has to go to built his. with no kid around (or probably with 1 or 2), it is bearable (or so i'd like to believe...)

soon i would want him to be around, to catch a few running toddlers, or even keep our teenagers under his watchful eyes. by that time, hopefully we would be able to operate a few things simply from our own living room, or anywhere we like ;)

so, Q: what if it's me who has to go?
A: the kids & the whole household will have to follow ;P

Moose said...


i like the final answer! HAHA.

si kecil said...

hard decision indeed. ok, IF I the one who face this;

1.find your heart. aku penah keja in a place yg aku enjoy with the colleagues n money. but my heart was empty. i quit. skang aku keje yg gaji biasa ja but i am fine. the peaceful feeling is priceless.

2. future. brp lama kena stay sana? in 10years from now (or longer), checklist pro con stay and go. incl in WHAT IF something happen to ur spouse in the meantime.where will u be?how will u survive?

3. LDR is sux.

4. career is rezeki. no matter when n where, u can start n restart n growing anytime anywhere. never afraid of losing it.

5. anak pun rezeki.yes we plan n we work for it. tp kalau dah kata rezeki tu, jumpa setahun sekali pun boleh lekat. jumpa hari2 pun belum tentu ada. yakin dgn kuasa Allah.

6. solat istikharah.

kesimpulannya check no.1 n no.2.. buat no.6. dan kalau aku, aku ikut. hahahaha..

sumpit said...

u got great advice there. Dont think u need any from me.

Apa2 pon solat isthikharah. Provided tht's you're not biased to either of the options, He will show you the way :)

Good luck!

Wani said...

I am in the same situation.we r doing no.2. seryes susah >.< no point having all d career n money but hidup hari2 sesak nafas :/ i hv to endure this for another 2 years >.< everyday is like a marathon to me T__T my advice...dont do that >.< except if the place is accessible by drving our own car boley sampai >.<

The Spasmodic Scribbler said...

Depends. I like what Qistin said. That's what I have in mind too.

But knowing how the both of us are such workaholics, I think we'll probably set ourselves apart (7 years of long distance relationship has taught us well). I'll probably become a superwoman, juggling between kids and work. But that's just something I always envisioned. Not sure if it's doable. I think I'll handle it when the time comes :)

hidden.wing said...

I’ll probably go for unpaid leave and search for new job there. Once secured only then I quit. Else, I’ll go with Option 2.

I can’t be bothered the corporate ladder, it just that I don’t see myself being SAHM yet…or forever :) so i dont mind changing job again if the spouse decide to return later

Some experienced colleagues said, depends on country too. If the place is risky or lack of good infrastructure e.g. education, medical, hygiene issue etc (like most of our petroleum operation countries), simply not convenient to start a family there and left us with Option 2.

The problem is, if given any opportunity,I'd love to serve country that's lacked all above for experience. He insist to follow, suprisingly. (But no way i'll allow him to be 'surirumah' there lol!)

Moose said...


would love to hear klo ko ada anything to advise.

cikyuSnida said...

Well, I'll let him go by himself first. Few months later, i'll follow after my monthly commitment is manageable for at least 6 months of no income. *extra savings is needed here, x dapekla nak shopping unnecessary things dengan duit gaji*.

Then live with the husband, find a new job, or do something that can give u side income. insyaAllah, rezeki ada di mana-mana. Bumi Allah ni luas.

even if duduk dengan husband tu nnt x keje, balik sini insyaAllah ade rezeki lain.

after all, life is about living. i'd rather stop chasing and start living now. we never know what will happen in the next few months.

limah said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Reen Tart Nenas said...

follow husband!

Reen Tart Nenas said...

nak tambah: herm, biar husband pegi dulu, tengok keadaan macam mana. kalau rasa keadaan semua ok, baru u follow :)