Can't live with it and definitely can't live without it.

Some people say that money is the root of all evil. But I say greedy is. Money is merely a tool created by humans millions of years ago as a means of business transaction. In a world that we live in today, money controls almost everything.

Money is also a taboo subject. Not sex. Not politics. Funny how a person can brag how sexually active he or she is. Or express views on politics. But shun out when asked about how much they earn. Most companies do not disclosed their employees salary. I know most of us do not share it with others on how much dough that we're actually making.

It's a secret that we want to keep for reasons that sometimes we are not certain of.

My family particularly myself and my dad wanted to keep the value of my dowry unknown to others. We had our own reasons to do so. During the engagement ceremony, the value was not mentioned at all. The only thing made publicly known was the mahar.

Funny how some people were more interested in the dowry than the ceremony itself. Funny how the were "shocked" when the mahar value was announce thinking that it was the dowry.
Funny how the word "sikitnya" unconsciously slipped through their mouth.
Funny how they never fail to ask my parents and I about this.

Funny, funny, funny.

Sometimes, I am amused on how persistent a person could be. That after much dilly-dally given, has it never entered their subconscious mind that maybe I just don't want to share? And why it is so important to them at the first place?

I get all sorts of numbers coming at me.

RM 7,000? Nah, she's worth more than that!
RM 10,000? Could be, afterall she's an overseas grad!
RM 15,000? Wow, that's a lot. Is her dad trying to sell her off?
RM 11,583? Maybe, since she's so obsess with her birthdate that she might had it.

Hey, how about RM 25,120.00? It's their wedding date!

How annoying?

They can throw as much as wild guess as they wish and free to do so. Good luck with that because I am intended to zip my lips tight.


Drama Queen said...

For that same reason, we decided not to have duit hantaran but instead we asked for gold bars instead to the value of the hantaran. So when people saw the dulang, they couldnt guess how much it is. Even I dont know cuz the price of gold goes up and down but whatever it is, my hubby paid less than the value we asked for cuz he bought the gold way in advance. Good huh?

Cieri said...

I pun planning tanak bgtau or even letak duit hantaran/mahar atas pahar. coz I am a kampung girl and you know la how noisy the kampung makcik2 regarding these matter.
bukan takat mahar,barang hantaran,even bilik pengantin pun sume nak sibuk tau.I already said to my mum,I tanak orang senang2 masuk kuar my bilik pengantin.I am gonna shut the door and gantung `do not disturb` sign in several languages.kalau masuk jugak memang tak paham bahasa.

sayanoa said...

hai u, actually im one of ur silence reader, tapi tu dulu skang tak lagi cuz i dah ade blog(br buat hari sabtu aritu hehehe). btw nak g tau yg i dah follow & link u tau. hope u sudi follow & link me back ya

bride2wife said...

Funny when I didn't get any of that sort during my wedding the other day..Alhamdulillah

Obviously we can't stop people asking for it right. It's like a stigma. Then become a disease.

It's good that you're keeping it to yourself moose :)

Moose said...

drama queen:
gold bars or dinars as hantaran/mas kahwin is a good one! because the guests cannot tell how much (you're worth) except for those who knows the real value.

it never occurred to us to use gold. had we knew about this earlier, maybe i'd opt for this!

i see that you've privatized your blog some time ago. can i have the permission to read?

Moose said...

not so say orang kampung ni lagi nosy ke ape sebab i pun orang kampung. i guess nosy people come from all sort of walk of life. it's unavoidable that they wanted to know everything that is not need to know. i am a very private person (surprise that i blog, but it's all because i love writing and expressing myself through it) so i do not want to disclosed the amount/value dekat orang. i think money is a taboo subject to talk about.

Moose said...

alhamdulillah, you've managed to escape that deadly question. lucky you! hahaha.

yes, i know for obvious reasons we can't stop them for asking and by making it a secret makes them wanna ask about it more! people are intrigued, of course but as long as we stick to the plan, there's nothing that they can do about it.

jangan sampai i nak beranak pun tanya lagi, taktau la! hahaha

The Spasmodic Scribbler said...

I can understand how you feel. To be honest, my family didn't ask for any wang hantaran at all. I told mom, no lets not burden his side and mom agreed. So when they came for merisik, we told them there'll be no wang hantaran. But they insisted, so we said okay, you can give whatever amount you think you can afford, we wouldn't mind at all. I was effing proud with my dad when he said marrying off your daughter is not a business trade.

And so I thought, lets just keep the amount a secret but somehow, it was leaked out during our engagement. Everyone thought it was a bit too much and they said something along the line;

"Banyaknya mintak!!"


Seriously, we didn't ask for anything in the first place and it was not us who set the amount! Frigging frustrating okay! The amount was a sincere gift from him to me so I don't understand why people just can't get that??