05/10/2017

The one that never got published until now...

I was accidentally logged into Blogger and saw the entry that never got published. If you've been following my IG or FB, it would come as no surprises to you. I have (almost completely) abandoned my blog. Not that I lost my writing mojo, I still write..sometimes. Well, if you count as caption writing..is writing. Then yes, I do. I truly miss writing, constructing sentences and playing adjectives and adverbs while enriching my own vocabulary.

About 4.5 years ago, I wrote these...


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After almost 9 years of blogging, I think this is the hardest and the most emotional entry that I have written. I am meaning to write this sooner but feel that I need time to pour myself into it.


I have a news to break.

My son who is turning 9 months old at the end of this month,

has Down Syndrome.


Yes, you heard or read it correctly. He has an extra chromosome in his 21st chromosome. He has Trisomy 21 or better know as Down Syndrome (DS).

15 hours after he was born, a pediatrician broke the news that she suspected him as a Trisomy 21 case as he has few DS's characteristics such as a single palmar crease (a straight line on his palm) which later turned to be the normal double line, big gap between his big toe (sandal gap), flat nose bridge and hypotonia. We were also told that he has slanted eyes but now that he's bigger, his eyes are those of my husband.

A genetic test was done and the time taken to know the ultimate result was nerve-wrecking. Literally. It took them 15 days to come up with a positive preliminary result. 15 days of which spent staying at the hospital with my son in the NICU. 15 days of uncertainty agony.

I wouldn't lie but for days, I felt the world was crushing on me. The image of a "perfect" child disappeared within minutes. All the dreams that were made shattered. I would cry silently at night (while pumping!) so that I won't wake my husband up.

I know myself too well that I need to be buried with my emotions before I soar.

One I've dealt with my emotions, there is no turning back. What keep me sane during those days were these verses;


How I am doing now? Quite well, alhamdulillah. I did a lot of reading on DS and the support from the government is amazing. My son has been going to physiotherapy session since he was 3 months old. He is doing well too, alhamdulillah. He is healthy without no health complications, so far. 



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