An Email From Stranger

You know how in Facebook you can join all sorts of available groups kan? When I tested positive, I came across the International Mother and Baby Group Oslo (IMABAGO) and joined them shortly afterwards. I was a silent member but until recently, I decided to post this there:

I received lots of positive feedback from mothers who actually gone through successful natural birth - hypnobirth or not, at the hospital mentioned. None of them replied with any negative birth stories at all, which made me so relief (oh, you have no idea how relief I am actually). Most of them encouraged me to apply for ABC (Alternative Birth Care) section of the hospital where water birth and acupuncture or water for injection as pain relief are made possible but I just think that they're too fancy for me. I have nothing against it but it's just a matter of preference.

What almost send me to tears was, an email I received from a complete stranger who is also an advocate of hypnobirth that's so inspiring that I just have to share it here.

Hi M,

I hope all is well with you.

I am so passionate about hypnobirthing and so wish i had the time to give you the full course but i'll try to give you some of the main tips that i hope can help you and also tell you about my experiences and what i feel is important to know.

HypnoBirthing is all about conditioning your mind to having a positive birth experience. One of the most important things you can do for you and your baby right now is to disregard any of the horror stories that you hear surrounding birthing. If someone starts to say something negative please just say you are hypnobirthing and you would prefer not to hear any negative stories. It serves no purpose to you or your baby. Birth is completely natural and our bodies are so amazingly clever and have been made in such a way that we can give birth to our babies with little or no pain in a very relaxed and natural way. I have done it twice and so i absolutely assure you it is possible.

Can you get a copy of the hypnobirthing book and rainbow relaxation cd from emily on barneting? If not let me know and i'll try to get back the copies that i gave out to my first couple that i taught.

You need to read the book, in particular read about the function of the uterus and you need to read about the different breathing techniques. You have to practice the breathing techniques and you have to listen to the rainbow relaxation CD every single day. It's ok to go to bed with your earphones in listening to it, download it to your ipod it doens't matter if you fall asleep while listening to it. It will be going in to your subconcious and conditioning your mind in a VERY positive way. When i felt my first surge (surge is a contraction, hypnobirthing uses softer language when talking about birthing) i immediately went in to the slow breathing and kept this going the entire birth until i needed to change to birth breathing which is when you breath the baby down the last leg of the journey. i was completely relaxed and got more and more relaxed with each surge despite them getting stronger. It is because i practiced it so much that this type of relaxation became second nature to me.

Learn how to do the different breathing and when you are feeling stressed or have a pain try the slow breathing its amazing how the pain will disappear and you become so relaxed. When you go to the toilet to poo practice the birth breath or slanted j breath, they sometimes call it in the book because this is the breathing you switch to as the baby is about to emerge. Try it and you will see how the poo is naturally expelled using the bodies own natural expulsion reflex and this is the same as when the baby is breathed out (not pushed out) breathed out. The body will naturally expell the baby if it is allowed to do so in its own time.

In norway there are many midwives who are familiar with natural birth and i was very fortunate in my second birth to have such a midwife. She asked me what my preferences were and i said i wanted to be left alone as much as possibble in a dark room and for it to be very peaceful and she sat and observed me and only came to me to help ease the baby out in the last 10 minutes. She knew that i had switched to the birth breath and it was such a quiet subtle change but she knew and that was incredible for me and her.

My first experience was different as the hospital midwife told me when i was on a visit beforehand that she had been a midwife 25 years and there is no other way for a baby to come out unless you push it out - this is absolute nonsense and i wish i had the courage to stand up to that midwife becuase i truly believed it was possible to do it without forced pushing but because it was my first i thought what do i really know. This is where the birthing partner comes in, they have to keep negative influences away from you during hte birth. In my case i had my husband prepped to tell midwives to be quiet if they were disturbing me, i didnt want to hear loud chatting, i didnt want to be disturbed if i was in my zone of relaxation. they tried so many times and it was incredibly frustrating but luckily as the birth progressed my husband stopped them disturbing me more and more.

The course is given to both the mother and birthing partner. The birthing partner has a very important role to play. As i keep repeating birthing naturally is completely achievable but to do it in a relaxed way without feeling the pain takes a lot of practice but its so worth it. Studies show that calmer births do result in calmer babies, The baby is completely affected by their own birthing experience. There are some texts in the book that the birthing partner can use to get you in to a deeper state of relaxation. If you can practice with your partner and get your partner to read some of these to you, in a slow relaxing way (you'll fall about laughing the first time) but if you can do it seriously this is an invaluable tool that your partner can bring with in to the birth to use when needed. For example if you just have some niggling back pain, or you have been distrubed or if you need to go deeper in to relaxation the book gives the scripts that the partner can read to you.

During the birth you can have the rainbow relaxation CD playing. i used this for much of the time as i had conditioned my mind so well to it that as soon as i heard the music and voice i completely relaxed.

The main principal of hypnobirthing is if you are relaxed then your body can use its natural endorphin which are a million times more powerful than any medicated pain relief. Your uterine muscles are made to rotate in harmony with your slow breathing during birth. If you are tense then these muscles tighten and adrenalin kicks in which takes the much needed blood flow aaway from the uterine muscles and cause the flight or fight response. the muscles you need for birth tense up and everything works against you. So, keep calm, if you feel pain don't stress breath slower, deeper, relax more.

Water birthing is fabulous for relaxation and using in combination with hypnobirthing.youtube natural water births and hypnobirths and see for yourself how calm and relaxed these women are its empowering to see.

Wow, there is so much more to tell you, like i say i wish i could help more. if you have more questions please don't hesitate to drop me an email.

I guess the main thing is practice the relaxation!!!

Wishing you a wonderful happy calm hypnobirthing birth for you and your baby.

Sending all positive energy your way.

Best wishes Hannah

If you haven't give hypnobirthing a thought, maybe it's time you do. After all, it's how the nature intends the birth of a child should be.

Sending positive vibes, thoughts and affirmation to all new mothers to be. We can do this!

Berpantang

Few days ago my husband questioned me about how effective is the Malay traditional routines during the confinement period that every new mothers have to go through, be it 30-days, 44-days or even 60-days. The most common period is I believe, is 44 days.

Until I'm pregnant, those confinement routines like bertungku, bertangas, bekung seem like a foreign language to me. But of course, being a first born, I've seen Mother gone through it all but I didn't really comprehend the logic behind all those rituals.

When I found out that I was pregnant, the first question that everyone seems to ask was, how am I going to go through the confinement period? Is there anyone coming to help me (and us) after the delivery? I haven't give much thought on it till people were asking about it as I didn't expect that I will go through (strict) confinement rules giving the condition that we're in, living 10,000 kilometers away from our parents.

Being away from family means I have to take charge and have to look at the berpantang period from a different angle. I'm planning to take this time as a rejuvenation period, as in the time to gain back energy and be healthy so that I can take care of the baby better. I also plan on eating as much as nutritious food as possible and not to focus much of the weight that should be shed. After all, a happy mom is equal to a happy baby and thus, a happy family. Lately, I've been compiling few nutritious-laden confinement recipes for H for him to cook and prepare them during his 2 weeks paternity leave. Sometimes I wonder why most people often associate confinement period as being boring because when I look at the menu, you will be spoilt for choice. You have turmeric chicken, chicken soup, black pepper beef, steamed and grilled fish etc. Man, I'm salivating already!

The funny thing about Malay traditional confinement menu is that, it differs from one family to another. In my family, new mothers can basically eat all sorts of protein - beef, (white) fish and chicken. Seafood and egg are forbidden as they are deemed "gatal". Most vegetables and fruits are allowed except those that are deemed "gassy or windy". I've heard people saying that confinement rituals should be followed strictly since it'll affect the bodily performance & functions in the future. What got me thinking is that, how about the after confinement period? Don't you have to take care of your body as well? Or your body only precious to you during the short 44 days period?

My husband and I had an interesting conversation on food that the Malays forbid during the confinement period. We know that in science, a hypothesis is proposed explanation for a phenomenon. For a hypothesis to be scientifically hypothesis (in this case, since such food will affect the bodily functions in the future, I take that we need more scientific evidence to make it more concrete), the scientific method requires one to test it. When no scientific evidence is produce, a hypothesis will just remain - well, a myth.

Am I right or wrong here?

Stretchmarks

I know it's inevitable not to have stretch marks during the pregnancy, but at least a good stretch marks cream/lotion can help to lessen and alleviate its appearance and itchiness that comes with it. I've been looking for an all natural or organic stretch mark cream/lotion to use since the beginning of the pregnancy and my first choice would be the Natural Stretch Oil from Earth Mama Angel Baby but sadly it is not available in Oslo.

Upon reading, I came across Burt Bees Mama Bee Belly Butter and based on the many reviews, I was sold. The price might be on the high side at 429 NOK (RM230) but it lasts long. Bought mine when I was at week 13 and despite religiously applying it to my tummy (almost) every day, a container can last me even till week 40 (or more!). The texture is thick so a little application goes a long way. It has cocoa butter, shea butter and vitamin E, the 3 important components that you should look for when purchasing a stretch marks cream/lotion.

I bought Tanamera confinement set and this set comes together with the highly raved virgin coconut oil (VCO) and since then I've been alternating between these two products. Normally, during the day I use the Belly Butter and at night I apply the vco because I'd smell like a coconut cookie afterwards. Hehe.

I love both products because they are easily absorb by the skin, leaving no oily residue and yet your skin feels very moisturized afterwards. But then a good stretch marks cream won't help much if you gain weight rapidly and too much during the pregnancy because your skin will stretch out too much, hence leaving a mark. So in order to combat that, the weight gain progress must be slow and steady and at the same time applying cream that is high in vitamin E (shea & cocoa butter) helps in making the skin more elastic.

At 33 weeks so far, I have yet to see any stretch marks appear buutttttt, I'm praying hard that it won't appear AT ALL. Or even if they decided to make an appearance, I pray that it won't be that severe and ugly.

Sounds impossible? Huhu.

Stuff

How I managed to pack these (and another half) in an 29" luggage is beyond my understanding. I guess it took years of packing skills and determination to do it. We did most of our shopping for the baby when we were back in Malaysia last July because of the cheaper price (compared to Oslo) dan lagi satu sebab barang-barang berpantang macam set bersalin, pati ikan haruan & minyak untuk baby macam telon ke yuyi etc. tu memang sah-sah la tak jual sini kan.

Kebetulan pulak, hujung bulan 7 tu ada baby expo jadi memang haruslah ambil kesempatan disitu dan agak memudahkan kerja jugaklah sebab tak payah nak survey sana sini. Mula-mula ingat nak beli barang penting macam storage bottle/plastic, swaddle, receiving blankets etc. tapi orang cakap dah alang-alang semua benda ada situ baiklah beli terus which explained kenapa nail clipper, thermometer & berus botol pun kena angkut sekali macamlah Oslo ni takde jual. Hikhik. Jangankan berus botol, oral care baby pun aku angkut sekali ok. Gigih sangat mak ni tau kata anak aku.

During the expo, I didn't go crazy over clothes because I'm gonna have an autumn/winter baby and most of the clothes sold in Malaysia are not suitable for it. Tapi ada jugakla beli 3 sets of newborn tops, pants & leggings from Fiffy because they're dirt cheap at RM6/piece. Other than that, most of the baby's clothes are bought here (during sale or jumble sale). Talking about jumble sale, few months ago, we went to a jumble sale organized by Oslo International School. Pretty clothes (and branded!) are abundant tapi malangnya we were not crazy at that time sebab masa tu I think I was still 4 months pregnant jadi taknakla excited sangat over baby preparation ni. Ambil langkah berjaga-jaga orang kata. But yeah, those moms yang gila shopping memang akan rambang mata. Walaupun baju-baju tu mostly second hand tapi masih nampak baru tambah-tambah baju branded macam Carter's, OshKosh B'gosh, Zara, Petit Bateau, Polarn O. Pyret etc. yang memang high quality tu. Tapi depends on orang jugak, ada orang geli nak pakai baju second hand but as for me, I don't mind at all. Lepas beli basuhlah bersih-bersih lagipun in this case, baju baby bukan pakai lasak macam baju orang besar kan.

Speaking of basuh baju, I plan to start doing the laundry when I hit 36 weeks tapi bila dengar Jaja bersalin masa week 36, tiba-tiba rasa cuak pulak. So most probably will do the laundry in another 2 weeks depending on how rajin I am at that time. Heeehee.

Oh no, so much to do yet so little time!

32 weeks

Ok, I am slowly joining the bandwagon of those preggers who can't stop updating about their pregnancy journey. Until the baby comes out, please bear with me. HAHA.

I had my 32 weeks check up yesterday and everything was normal except that the midwife detected a bacteria in the urine but since it was not my first pee of the day and I hadn't experiencing any pain while peeing, she assured me not to worry about it and advises that I must bring my own sample during the next check up for more accurate result. Apart from that, blood pressure, protein and hemoglobin level are normal. The OGTT result came and alhamdulillah, I need not to worry about that. I know that I have been careful with what I eat and the test was actually a precaution as my family has a history of diabetes so when the result was a OK, I was relief.

The midwife that I'm seeing works at the hospital that I am registered so we discussed a bit on the birth plan. I am glad that the hospital is pro-natural birthing and if I require an alternative birthing for example water birth and whatnot, I need to write them a letter stating my birth preferences and they'll refer me to a special unit called, Alternative Birthing Care (ABC). If not, I can discussed the birthing plan when D(elivery)-Day comes. I don't have much request to begin with actually, my only request are that;

• no frequent vaginal examination
• no artificial breakage of water bag
• no pain killers (but I'll keep this in view. As much as I know I have high pain threshold, we never know what's going to happen when the day comes)
• immediate skin to skin contact 
• birth partner to be present throughout labor progress and be allowed to cut the cord
• no immediate washing/rubbing of the vernix caseosa of the baby
• episiotomy only if necessary and only after discussion
• be allowed to move freely or any position deemed to ease the labor

Ok, that's all that I could think right now. In a way, I am a hypnobirthing convert. HAHA.

We also discussed the possibility if I am past the EDD and what action should be taken if I had one. Lucky in Norway, expected mothers are given 10 days allowance before any medical intervention taken place, be it   artificial birth induction or Cesarean. That, if the mothers are having normal and healthy pregnancy. But according to her statistically, most expectant mothers give birth within week 38-week 40. Now, lets hope that this lil bub of mine contributes to that statistic.

8 weeks (or less) to go people! Can you believe it?!

What's In A Name?

Before we found out that I was pregnant, I already have few baby names that I like. These names were acquired even before I was married. Among all the names that I like, I always love these 2 names combination in particular that if I were to have a girl, she will be named that.

However, I also like my maternal grandmother's name who passed away when I was merely a year old that in tribute to her, I would also love to name my girl after her.

Nenek Madina and I circa 1984

But H has been so adamant with his strictly one-name-only policy that sometimes I just wish I can strangle the idea out of him. You see, my husband has probably the longest and hard to pronounce first name that sometimes I think it frustrates him when people can't pronounce it correctly that he mostly goes by his second name. And out of this frustration, I reckon he's more adamant with his policy than ever. We have shortlisted few names since the beginning of my pregnancy and been calling the baby the name that we picked since I was in the second trimester. Initially H was unsure on the idea of adding a second name but after much coaxing, he finally agrees to it and now, I can proudly say that we already have the name for our little bub. I love simplicity and the meaning of the names and hopefully s/he will live up to her/his name. Insya Allah.

I am still keeping the gender of our baby a secret but has recently spill the beans to some of my close friends, our relatives and #chanteks. Hopefully they will keep mum on this or else, I know whom I shall look for if the secret is out in the open.

HAHA.